Fake
by KousukeAsazuki
Summary: Ed and Roy plan a night out, but is it really Ed that's making the plans? Crappy summary, decent story. Oneshot. RoyEd. R&R!


Howdy everyone! This is my first fullmetal fic, so be nice! It's actually only going to be a oneshot, so sorry if it's actually good and you want more, maybe I'll do a fullmetal fic one day, who knows? Anyway, this is dedicated to CeTe for being the 100th reviewer for one of my spiral fics. If you all like spiral, and haven't checked out her fics, go do it now! Other than that, enjoy!

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Roy and Ed were a couple, everyone knew that. No one said anything because the two lovebirds tried to pretend that no one knew, but everyone knew. It's not like they really made much of an effort to keep it a secret. Poor Riza will go blind by the end of the year with all the times she's walked in on them getting a little too friendly. Still, they continued to live in their own little world full of denial and groping.

This was also why it was no suprsie to anyone when Ed went barging into Roy's office with no notice. The colonel glanced up from his much despised paperwork, and smirked at his boyfriend, "Hello, Fullmetal, how may I help you?"

Ed shut the door behind him, not even bothering to lock it (like I said, they made no real efforts to keep their private life...well, private), and sautnered over to Roy's desk, "Cut the formal crap, Mustang." He said, leaning over the desk, "I want to go out tonight."

Roy leaned foward on his elbows, and rested his chin on his laced fingers, "Really?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ed nodded, "Yep." He confimred, leaning down to level his face with Roy's, "So?"

Roy considered it, and nodded, "Alright, but be back before bedtime." He said, smiling, then standing up and patting Ed's head, "Now you have fun, but not too much fun."

The younger one glared at Roy, "I'm not a kid, Roy!"

This got the other one's attention, Ed rarely ever called him by his first name. Even after they started going out, his first name was only ever used when Ed was really pissed, or really caught up in a moment of passion. This was definitely not the latter type of situation, and Roy briefly wondered what he had said to set his boyfriend off; it wasn't like he'd never made a joke like that one. Instead of taking it to heart, Roy just put on his trademark smirk, "Alright, calm down, Ed." He said with a bit of a chuckle, "Where do you want to go?"

"I dunno." The short one said with a shrug, "A resturaunt, maybe? Somewhere expensive."

Roy laughed, that certainly sounded like Ed, always wanting to be taken out on expensive dates. It wasn't like Roy couldn't afford it, though, so it didn't bother him. Besides, Ed always "compensated" him for the date at the end of the night. So, the older one nodded, "Alright, can you at least wait another hour until I get off?"

Ed sighed, "Fine, but there better be some good food." He said, and plopped down on the couch next to Roy's desk.

"So, I take it you're staying?" Roy asked.

"Of course." Was his reply, "Where else would I go?"

Sitting back down from grabbing yet more paperwork, Roy sighed, "Well, while you're here, perhaps we could get started early?" He suggested, motioning for Ed to sit on his lap. At that same moment, the same boy he was inviting to sit on his lap, came bursting in through the door. Roy blinked a few times, and stared at the intruder, "Ed?" He asked, uncertain of what was going on.

Ed #2 looked at Ed #1, who was still sitting on the couch, staring at his double. Ed #2 pointed at the other one, "He's a fake!" He finally explained.

Roy looked back and forth between the two Ed's, confused, "A...fake?" He asked.

Ed #2 nodded, and glared at the supposed fake as he stood to join his twin, "No way, he's the fake. Come on, you know me better than that, don't you?" Ed #1 asked.

Roy hesitated, he really _didn't_ know which one was his Ed. They were both identical, and they both had the same pissy attitude. He felt a little bad that he didn't know his boyfriend from some imposter, but the imposter was really good at his job! All of a sudden, he noticed something, and smirked; he knew which Ed was his. Ed #2, however, was far from smirking, and he was now glaring at Roy, "Can't you tell your own boyfriend from a damn fake?" He asked.

Still smirking, Roy wakled over to the boy who had just yelled, "Of course I can." He said, then leaned down to kiss him. Ed returned the kiss, but broke it off soon after as the fake Ed returned to his original form.

There stood Envy in all his glory, frowning at the couple. Ed glared at the homonculus (is it homonculus or homonculi?), "Envy, what are you doing here?" He growled.

The green haired boy smirked, "Just hanging out with my boyfriend." Envy replied, grabbing Roy's arm, and yanking him to his side, "He even promised to buy me dinner."

"Not on your life." Ed growled, yanking Roy back.

Seeing that he was outnumbered, Envy sighed, "I just wanted to go to a nice resturaunt for a change." He said, sadly, "I never get nice things."

"That's becasue you kill people." Ed pointed out, "That, and you're a liar. You just want to get into Roy's pants; admit it."

Envy grinned, "Yeah, that, too. Dinner would have been nice though..." He looked to Roy, "You know, we could still go..."

"OUT!" Ed yelled chasing Envy effectively out of the room. Then, he turned back to Roy, "So, how did you know I was the real me?"

Roy hesitated, to tell, or to not get his ass kicked? Well, Ed wouldn't have let him get away with not answering anyway, so he might as well just get it out now, "It was simple, really." He started to explain. Ed waited, raising an eyebrow at Roy's silence, waiting for the older one to continue, "Envy was taller."

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Sorry if that was really short, but I couldn't think of anything else to put in. I'm sure there was plenty of stuff, I hope you liked it; review!


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